Sardar Ji Jokes - Page 4
63-Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't light. He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third one finally lit. lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
"What for did you put that match in your vest pocket?"
"That's a good match. I'll use it again."
64- Santa Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on the middle of the night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."
65- What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer? Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
66- Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" (it's the barking sound)
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
"Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof."
Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
67- Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
" Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
68- Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 Rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
69- Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?" The Sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too.
70- How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
71- Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"
72- Santa: WHat is another difference between a mosquito and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannt mosquito.
73- 1 banda bhagta howa aata hay
aur Sardar se kehta hai
bhai jaldi jao tumharey ghar main
talaab ka pani ghus gaya hay.
Sardar: Oye kion jhoot bolta hay,
ghar ki chabi to meray paas hay.
74- Sardar bar me ro raha tha.
Bartender: Kyo ro rahe ho?
Sardar: Aur kya karu??
Jis ladki ko bhulana chahta hun
uska naam hi yaad nahi aata.
75- 2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.
76- Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
77- Sardar was busy removing
a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler
78- Sardar ki mangni hoi,
usey pata chala k uski mangaiter
ka kisi se koi affair nahi tha,
us nay yeh keh ker mangni tor di
k jo kisi aur ki nahi ho saki
wo meri kia ho gi?
79- Aik Sardar apnay kandhay per aik
totay (parrot) ko bitha ker jaa raha tha..
Kisi nay pocha:”Yeh kon sa janwar hai?
”tota(parrot) bola: “Sardar”
80- 1 night bijli chali gae…
SARDAR APNI BIVI SAY:
oye kam se kam pankha to chala day.
BiWI: kar di na phir sardaron wali baat…
pankha chalaingay to mombatti bujh nahin jayegi
81- Aik Sardar kay han 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.
Dost : Yaar udas kion ho?
Sardar : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.
82- A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !
83- A Sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why're the guys doing what they're doing.
The bystander: A Marathon race is going on
Sardar: What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Sardar : Then why are the others running?!