Funny Urdu Jokes - Page 3

 

1- Boy: teri judai me neend urti hai, chain khota hai,
jaan jaati hai or dil rota hai…
.
Girl: doctor ko dikha le beta q k dengue virus bhi aise hi hota hai!

2- Ek shareef admi shadi k bad apni B.V ko bola:
Aaj sey tum he meri ZINDAGI ho, PYAAR ho, TAMANNA hoo!

B.V: aor aaj sey aap he mere leye Imran hain, SAAD hain NOMAN hain

3- Breaking News: Tamam hazrat se Guzarish hai, k Apni aurton or bachon ko ajkal T.V se Door rakhain Q K, MuShRaf Kisi bhi waqat vardi utar Sakta hai

4- Dil ka dard dil torrne waley kiya jaaney, Pyar ke rivajon ko zamana kiya jaaney,
Hoti hai kitni takleef larrki ko pataney main, Ye ghar pe baitha larki ka baap kiya jaaney

5- Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se
Husband bola:“Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.”
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur Boli
“Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti”

6- Train mai aik husband apni wife say: tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!

7- Mom: Beta khana khayega?
Beta: Na
Mom: Ladu khaiyega??
Beta: Na
Mom: Mithai Khaiyega?
Beta: Na
Mom:ice creame khaiyega?
Beta: Na
Mom: Baap pe gaya hai THAPAR hi khayega!

8- Three ants find an elephant asleep.
One says,”We’ll kill him!”
Other one says,”We’ll break his legs!”
3rd one says: “choro yaar bechara akela hai aur hum teen..!!”:-)

9- A boy told his friend,
“yar aik larki mujh ko hans k dekh rahi hai”.

Friend answered: “Sahi se dekh, hans k dekh rahi hai ya dekh k hans rahi hai :-)”

10- Woh subah ki thandak,
Woh toliye ki khushbu,
Woh shamp ki bottle,
Woh dhule howay kapron ka sakoon,
.
.
.
.
.
Tum kiya jano ye to sirf nahanay
wale hi jante hain:p

11- Train main 1 machar 1 chinese k sar pe baitha, woh usko pakar k kha gaya!

Phir 1 machar memon pe baitha, us ne pakar k chinese say pocha:
.
.
.
.
.
Khareedo gay?

12- 2 Dost Suicide kernay gayai, Pahala : “Hey Bhagwan mujhey
dunia ki saari nafrat de Pareshani de Dukh de!”

Dusra dost : “Abe tu maut maang
raha hai k Microsoft main Job.”

13- Boy: mujh sy shadi karo gi?
Girl: kyaa!

Boy: achi film hai na!!!
Girl: kutty k bachy.

Boy: WHAT????
Girl: kitny cute hotty hain na!


14- Aishwaria Rai, Preety Zinta, Kareena Kapoor in teenon main se kise ko
hona ho ga maira zaroor main janta hoon nahi ha itni ooqaat maire lakin,
lab pay aati ha dua ban kay tamana maire

15- Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha,”Koun Thi Wo?”
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.

16- Boy : Jan-e-man!
Totay howay dil se pyaar karogi ya
dil tootnay tak pyaar karogi?

Girl : Kameenay! Tuti hoi chappal say pitay ga ya
chappal tootnay tak pitega.

17- Raam nay been bajai, or seeta duur k ayai…

Kishan nay bansuri bajai, or Radha bhaag k ayai…

aur hum nay sirf seeti bajai, Woh sali BHAI ko lay aai

18- Baharo phool barsao mera “DOST”aya hai.
Hoto pe muskan, gali me mehak laya hai.

Barso tak thi jise pani se “ELERGY”
Woh aaj “LUX” se nahaya hai.

19- Yeh Pyar b na Ajeeb Cheez hai
Maa se ho to Ibadat
Baap se ho to Muqaddas
Bhai se ho to Aqeedat
Behn se ho to Farz
Aur BV se ho to.

Chunnu, Munnu, Guddu, Pappu

20- Sardar: bhagwan mujhey dard day dukh day tension day mujhey barbaad ker day,
meray peechay bhoot laga day.Bhagwan: abay salay aik line main bool biwi chahiye

 

     
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